26
Siblings
As your child goes through what may be several months of treatment it is important
that any siblings do not feel ignored.While they may appreciate that you could have
to spend regular or long spells of time in hospital with their brother or sister, their
understanding may wear a little thin if this goes on month after month.Their lives
could change signifcantly because of their sibling’s illness and they may start to feel
resentful about all the attention he or she is receiving, or they may be too young to
understand what is happening.
There are things you can do to help your family get through the diffcult times
during treatment.You and/or your partner spending time individually with your
other children, perhaps taking them out for a meal or spending quality time with
them when one of you is in hospital with your sick child, can help them feel less
excluded. For example one of us would watch our sons play football while the other
was with Katie, and we made the effort to watch a DVD with them regularly, or went
for a dog walk with them so that we could chat and catch up.
If your children are at school it is very important that you keep in close contact with
their class teachers in order to pick up early on any problems with school work or
friends.You may be so caught up with caring for and worrying about your sick child
that you don’t notice another of your children is also experiencing problems.Their
teacher(s) should be able to let you know about any changes in their behaviour.
You also need to think about how much information you tell your children – in the
face of negative news you may not wish your other child/children to know.You
will need to decide how you think they will deal with the information and whether
they’re old enough to be able to cope with it.We told our two sons,who were 12
and 14 at the time, about the seriousness of Katie’s illness when the medical team
decided that no more treatment could be
given.We told Katie a few months later,
although we still remained positive about
her recovery.
This is of course an entirely personal decision
and will differ between families so don’t feel
you should be behaving in a certain way.
Section 3